Moms in Transition–Turning Your Purpose Into a Paycheck

Having a baby changes everything. Whether you decided to go back to work or stay at home with your babies, either decision requires a transition because, let’s face it, NOTHING is the same once our tiny humans enter the picture.  While some debate the pros and cons of each, I am of the opinion that there is no right or wrong answer.  The decision is inherently personal based on each individual’s situation.  Some go back to work because they have to, others because they want to.  Some become stay at home moms when prior to the baby’s arrival, they could never see themselves doing so.  Regardless, it is moms who face the most transition in relation to maintaining a work-life balance when the little ones come along.  The goal shouldn’t be to have it “all.”  Instead, the goal should be to find your voice, tell your story, and live a life that allows you to use your purpose to create change in your families and community.      

Every person has a longing to be significant; to make a contribution; to be a part of something noble and purposeful. John C. Maxwell

8 ACTIONS FOR MOMS IN TRANSITION: PURPOSE TO PAYCHECK

1: BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU ARE DOING

First and foremost, believe in the decision you have made.  Nobody knows your situation better than you, and you do not owe an explanation as to why you have decided to go back to work or stay at home.  The most important thing is to honor YOUR priorities and do what is best for you and your family.

2: IDENTIFY YOUR PASSION

Each one of us has gifts and talents that are unique to us.  There has never been and never will be another YOU.  You have something amazing to offer this world.  The more you deny the world of your story, the more you are not living in alignment with your purpose.  In the past 3 years, I have discovered that I have a passion to help other women identify areas where they are stuck so that they can move forward.  These are motivated, confident, talented women. Tapping in to your passion will impact all areas of life.  You’ll get up earlier.  Be more creative.  Crush your to do list.  Plus, the right intention leads to the right action and creates crazy results!

2: OVERCOME LIMITING BELIEFS

Limiting beliefs are the small voice in your head telling you you can’t.  Once you identify the source of those limiting beliefs, you can crush them and kick fear to the curb.  We all face fear at one point or another, but when it holds you back, that is the problem.  Acknowledging that fear does not come from love can help you face it.   Instead of letting fear stop you, you should be willing to learn through the fear and embrace the love that the world has for you.  Embrace where you are at this point in life and use it as s tool to move you forward.

3: CAPITALIZE ON THE SKILLS YOU HAVE LEARNED AS A MOM

Conflict management.  Budgeting.  Management.  Inventory.  Multitasking.  Teaching.  Social planning.  Scheduling.  These are all amazing skills we moms use in the blink of an eye every single day.  These skills are transferrable. Talk them up!

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4: UTILIZE THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

The law of attraction is powerful stuff!  We live in a world of negativity and gloom and doom.  When you think about negative things, that’s all you’ll see.  When you focus on what you DO want to have happen, it’s funny how things can start to align for you.  Start a daily gratitude journal to record the GOOD things that you are happy for each day.  The more you focus on the good, the more it will appear in your life.

5: LEARN TO SAY NO AND FOCUS ON KEY PRIORITIES

Identify your key priorities and use those as the gauge against which you base your decisions.  There is no utopian balance to achieve. Truly, having it “all” isn’t realistic, and, quite frankly, would leave us feeling overwhelmed.  Every choice has a sacrifice. Get comfortable with uncomfortable feelings (guilt for not being home for dinner, fear of not doing it right, discomfort of being judged for a messy house). You can have it all but not all at the same time.

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6: IDENTIFY OBJECTIVES CLEARLY SO THE UNIVERSE CAN DELIVER

Crystal clear goals get results. Vague hopes don’t. Be realistic about your goals and how much time you actually have to attain them. If you have 4 hours/week to devote to yourself while your child is in daycare — don’t expect to do all your errands, exercise and look for a job. If you haven’t worked for a while, you may need some time for pure self care before you launch into the job search.

7: TAKE A CHANCE

And trust that an opening will occur. Sometimes to achieve great things, we need to act before we know how to “do.”  Think about riding a bike.  The best way to learn how is to do it.  All the instruction in the world won’t help you in the actual act of riding the bike.  Instead of waiting until the time is right or the kids reach a certain point, take action toward your goals now.  You can’t know the end before you begin. Even if you don’t know what’s next, there is something powerful in having faith and taking the leap.  That’s when greatness occurs.

8: EMBRACE THE HARD

Being a mom is hard work.  Stay at home mom—hard work.  Working mom—hard work.  Single mom—hard work.  Being a mom isn’t easy, but it’s also really hard to lose touch with your purpose.  Embrace the journey of motherhood without losing YOU in the process.  That’s the hardest part.  Turning our purpose into a paycheck so we can contribute to our family and live out or purpose with passion-filled days is beyond rewarding! Now is the best time for mompreneurs to build a business – doing what they love while being present for the ones they love most.

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Events vs. Processes for Personal Development

What is your plan for personal development?  Do you have one?  Do you think it’s necessary?

As a teacher, I was required to complete a personal development plan yearly with goals, objectives and measurable outcomes.

While this kind of personal development has it’s place, the focus on outcomes vs. processes focuses more on skill development than leadership development.

Leadership development is a process and is something that compounds over time.

There is no start and stop date.

I am a believer that leaders are those who never stop learning.  They continually look for ways to grow and improve.  One of my favorite quotes is “He who stops getting better stops being good.”

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This speaks to the idea that to grow as leaders, we should be getting a little better every day.  It is this way that personal development should be an ongoing process, not a series of events.  While events can be powerful and spur people into action, it is the daily process of growth that leads to leadership development.

Let’s set this in a metaphor of having a baby.

When you find out you are having a baby (in my case–twins!), most people go into preparation mode.  You have to buy the furniture, swing, clothes, diapers.  Everything is geared toward the “due date,” or the “event.”  Sure, new mamas read books and gather information, but until that tiny human is here, you really have NO IDEA what you are in for.

So, we count down to the event.  We celebrate the event with showers and gender reveals.  And then, the day comes and the baby is here.  We make phone calls and celebrate and bask in new baby smells.

But, once that day is gone.  It’s gone.  You look in the backseat on the way home from the hospital and realize that the tiny human back their is yours and there is no instruction book.

Every day after that begins the PROCESS of learning how to be a parent.  With each stage and each challenge, you get better because of what you learn along the way.

Over the long term, it is the process of actually parenting that teaches you the skills of HOW to parent.  No book can adequately explain the actual process of parenting because it is so uniquely different for each of us based on individual circumstances.

These kinds of processes can be difficult because growth that encourages development and change can be painful at times.  It causes us to doubt ourselves.  To wonder HOW we are going to make it.

But we do make it because there is no other choice but to learn and grow WITH your child.

Leadership is the same way.  To grow as a leader, you have to commit to a process of personal growth to every day work to be the best YOU possible.  Likewise, leaders must be willing to encourage growth in their families and organizations making sure that those opportunities for growth are there.

So again, I want to ask you, what is your plan for personal growth?

It’s ok if you can’t answer that question now.  But, if you are committed to being the best YOU possible, personal growth is something you can’t ignore.  When you are not clear about what kind of growth you want, don’t be surprised if you don’t get very far.

Need ideas on how to get started?

  • Write out a plan
  • Read a book a month (Intentional Living and The Compound Effect are great ones to start with)
  • Listen to podcasts
  • Journal
  • Find an event to attend and put steps in action to capitalize on the excitement
  • Meditate
  • Get active (yes—this CAN change your attitude)
  • Take a course 
  • Join a community organization

And just remember, as John Maxwell says, leadership doesn’t develop in a day.  It takes a lifetime.  So, be kind to yourself, and find a way to start growing TODAY.

x/o

Deanna

 

The Miracle Morning | Challenge Day 30

Day 30 FINAL DAY:

Today marks the end of my 30 Day Miracle Morning Challenge. This was a challenge to me. A commitment to me. A push to find the focus I know I can have.

What I’m left with after committing to this process is a feeling of purpose, priority, and productivity.

Before this challenge, I have to admit that I was feeling lost. Lost in the sense that I was trying to do EVERYTHING versus doing the ONE thing that would make the difference. The ONE thing each day that would drive me forward.

Through the use of The Miracle Morning SAVERS (Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing), I have found a way to start my day in a positive mindset. While waking between 4:30 and 5:00 a.m. can present challenges, on the few days where I slacked off, I could tell a difference in my focus throughout the day. And, given the fact that I started this in an effort to find focus, it became clear to me early on in this process that I can’t afford to NOT start my day this way. Other than the occasional mornings when the kiddos were up at the same time as me, there is a peace that comes with starting your day in silence.

I have started filling my head with positive thoughts and daily affirmations of my worth. It is so easy to let the voices of others cloud what we know to be true about ourselves. Likewise, it’s easy to let competition or other people’s accomplishments make us feel less than. Filling my head with affirmations every day has made me focus on me and what I can do vs. what others have done. Likewise, visualizing my goals and how it will feel once they are achieved has spurred me into greater action.

In the past 30 days, I have read The Miracle Morning, The Miracle Morning for Salespeople, and The ONE Thing, and I have created two freemiums for my website, created three landing pages, created a team all access coaching event WITH my team, blogged several times a week, started another 66 day challenge to reinforce the importance of getting my ONE thing done each day, starting my teaching job (which puts us on a path of purposeful savings and one of the HUGE items on my vision board), completed The Miracle Morning each day, consistently completed my business Power Hour even when other events could have been an excuse to NOT do it, and I’ve created systems that will help keep me moving forward.

I can’t wait to see where I will be in another 30 days.

I’m left with this final thought from “The ONE Thing,” (a book I have read almost twice during this process) “A life lived on purpose is the most powerful of all— and the happiest.” ~ The ONE Thing

The Miracle Morning Challenge | Day 18

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It feels good to be “over the hump,” so to speak, with the 30 day challenge. When I started this, I did so knowing that I was lacking focus. I had no idea how much this process would change me in such a short time. Now, when the alarm goes off, I get up. I don’t lie there and push snooze three or four times because the reality is that those extra minutes of sleep don’t do anything for me in the long run.

Todays takeaways:

“So when you think about success, shoot for the moon. The moon is reachable if you prioritize everything and put all of your energy into accomplishing the most important thing. Getting extraordinary results is all about creating a domino effect in your life.”

I know that I have been guilty of dreaming too small. I’ll set a small goal and meet it and then stop. I’ll feel good about the goal but then know in the back of my head that I could have done more. This process has helped me recognize my self-limiting beliefs and begin to chip away at them. I’ve also through the visualization process started to develop a very clear picture of where I want to go through my coaching. I know the possibilities. I have added this to my daily affirmations. It is the FIRST one I read every day, because if I don’t believe this, then nothing else is possible:

I am just as capable as anyone else who has succeeded at this business. My heart is as big, my ability as strong, and my desire as intense. The only thing holding me back is ME. I am the ONE thing.

“What starts out linear becomes geometric. You do the right thing and then you do the next right thing. Over time it adds up, and the geometric potential of success is unleashed.”

One of the things discussed in the One Thing is the idea of sticking with a habit for 66 days. While many say 21 days is what it takes to create habit, The One Thing says the magic number is 66. So, I started yesterday on day one of doing a specific habit for my business. It is the one that I dislike and the ONE that will drive things forward. I’ve enlisted my husband to hold me accountable every day for getting it done. I’m looking forward to seeing HOW this will change things over the next two months.