I had the honor of seeing this video live at the International Maxwell Certification in August. John spoke much about family and the importance of connection. What a gift his father is still going at 96!
To learn more about how the services I offer or to partner with the John Maxwell Team as a speaker, coach, teacher, leader or professional in the certification program, visit HERE
Having a baby changes everything. Whether you decided to go back to work or stay at home with your babies, either decision requires a transition because, let’s face it, NOTHING is the same once our tiny humans enter the picture. While some debate the pros and cons of each, I am of the opinion that there is no right or wrong answer. The decision is inherently personal based on each individual’s situation. Some go back to work because they have to, others because they want to. Some become stay at home moms when prior to the baby’s arrival, they could never see themselves doing so. Regardless, it is moms who face the most transition in relation to maintaining a work-life balance when the little ones come along. The goal shouldn’t be to have it “all.” Instead, the goal should be to find your voice, tell your story, and live a life that allows you to use your purpose to create change in your families and community.
Every person has a longing to be significant; to make a contribution; to be a part of something noble and purposeful. John C. Maxwell
8 ACTIONS FOR MOMS IN TRANSITION: PURPOSE TO PAYCHECK
1: BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU ARE DOING
First and foremost, believe in the decision you have made. Nobody knows your situation better than you, and you do not owe an explanation as to why you have decided to go back to work or stay at home. The most important thing is to honor YOUR priorities and do what is best for you and your family.
2: IDENTIFY YOUR PASSION
Each one of us has gifts and talents that are unique to us. There has never been and never will be another YOU. You have something amazing to offer this world. The more you deny the world of your story, the more you are not living in alignment with your purpose. In the past 3 years, I have discovered that I have a passion to help other women identify areas where they are stuck so that they can move forward. These are motivated, confident, talented women. Tapping in to your passion will impact all areas of life. You’ll get up earlier. Be more creative. Crush your to do list. Plus, the right intention leads to the right action and creates crazy results!
3: OVERCOME LIMITING BELIEFS
Limiting beliefs are the small voice in your head telling you you can’t. Once you identify the source of those limiting beliefs, you can crush them and kick fear to the curb. We all face fear at one point or another, but when it holds you back, that is the problem. Acknowledging that fear does not come from love can help you face it. Instead of letting fear stop you, you should be willing to learn through the fear and embrace the love that the world has for you. Embrace where you are at this point in life and use it as s tool to move you forward.
4: CAPITALIZE ON THE SKILLS YOU HAVE LEARNED AS A MOM
Conflict management. Budgeting. Management. Inventory. Multitasking. Teaching. Social planning. Scheduling. These are all amazing skills we moms use in the blink of an eye every single day. These skills are transferrable. Talk them up!
5: UTILIZE THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
The law of attraction is powerful stuff! We live in a world of negativity and gloom and doom. When you think about negative things, that’s all you’ll see. When you focus on what you DO want to have happen, it’s funny how things can start to align for you. Start a daily gratitude journal to record the GOOD things that you are happy for each day. The more you focus on the good, the more it will appear in your life.
6: LEARN TO SAY NO AND FOCUS ON KEY PRIORITIES
Identify your key priorities and use those as the gauge against which you base your decisions. There is no utopian balance to achieve. Truly, having it “all” isn’t realistic, and, quite frankly, would leave us feeling overwhelmed. Every choice has a sacrifice. Get comfortable with uncomfortable feelings (guilt for not being home for dinner, fear of not doing it right, discomfort of being judged for a messy house). You can have it all but not all at the same time.
7: IDENTIFY OBJECTIVES CLEARLY SO THE UNIVERSE CAN DELIVER
Crystal clear goals get results. Vague hopes don’t. Be realistic about your goals and how much time you actually have to attain them. If you have 4 hours/week to devote to yourself while your child is in daycare — don’t expect to do all your errands, exercise and look for a job. If you haven’t worked for a while, you may need some time for pure self care before you launch into the job search.
8: TAKE A CHANCE
And trust that an opening will occur. Sometimes to achieve great things, we need to act before we know how to “do.” Think about riding a bike. The best way to learn how is to do it. All the instruction in the world won’t help you in the actual act of riding the bike. Instead of waiting until the time is right or the kids reach a certain point, take action toward your goals now. You can’t know the end before you begin. Even if you don’t know what’s next, there is something powerful in having faith and taking the leap. That’s when greatness occurs.
9: EMBRACE THE HARD
Being a mom is hard work. Stay at home mom—hard work. Working mom—hard work. Single mom—hard work. Being a mom isn’t easy, but it’s also really hard to lose touch with your purpose. Embrace the journey of motherhood without losing YOU in the process. That’s the hardest part. Turning our purpose into a paycheck so we can contribute to our family and live out or purpose with passion-filled days is beyond rewarding! Now is the best time for mompreneurs to build a business – doing what they love while being present for the ones they love most.
Look. I’m guilty. I’m guilty of procrastinating. Guilty of “learning” for the sake of learning. Taking in TONS of information. But, then I stall. I have so much info rolling around in my brain, that it freezes me. I have to remind myself that I KNOW what to do, I just have to DO IT (you know–like the whole Nike thing says!).
The number one catalyst for change is doing SOMETHING.
If there is a situation in your life you want to change or a goal you want to reach, but you’re not doing anything about it and still expect it’s going to change, that’s a PROBLEM.
In order for change to happen we have to do something different. We have to try something different. Sometimes, we even have to become the person who CAN meet the goal, which requires GROWTH.
And growth can be painful. However, if you think back on your life, anything big requires some pain to bring it to life.
Being uncomfortable, failing, being embarrassed: these are all signs that you are growing.
Change occurs is by taking action. However, too often, we talk ourselves out of taking that action because of fear or feelings of inadequacy. Somewhere along the line, we begin to think we aren’t good enough. How dare we dream that big?
Ask yourself this: what is something that keeps popping up on your mental “I should do that” list. We all have have those thoughts and ideas that are subtly floating around in the back of our heads. Lingering there calling to us. Think back to what you wanted to be when you were a child. We ask kids that daily, and we give them permission to DREAM. What were your dreams when you were a child?
Me, I wanted to be a teacher, a dental hygienist, and a cheerleader on the weekends. While only one of those came to light, I clearly had unrealistic expectations. Or did I? I most definitely am a teacher. It is the core of who I am. And, I like to think that I’m a pretty good cheerleader for the people in my life. (And as a mom to twins–the whole keep your teeth clean thing is high on my list!). The point is, at some time in our lives, we have all had these amazing, crazy ideas we wanted to try.
Nobody ever told us, “Oh honey, you can’t do that.” Think about your kiddos. When they tell you they want to be astronauts, you buy them books about the moon and watch shows about space. We encourage that curiosity. Why, then, do we stop doing that when we are adults?
So think about what’s on your “should list.” What do you want to do? Who do you want to become? What do you want to achieve?
What is that kind of nagging thought that’s in the back of your head and keeps showing up?
If you aren’t doing anything about it you’re doing a disservice to yourself and denying yourself to reach your FULLEST POTENTIAL.
Whatever is nagging at your soul, I am going to challenge you today to take action. Do SOMETHING to push you closer to what your dream is. START TODAY.
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I wrote this a year ago, but somehow with losing my father this week and nearing my 45th birthday in two weeks, it seems fitting to share again.
I’ve decided that being 40-ish is a little like being a tween or a teenager. (please know this reflection comes from waking up covered in sweat the past two nights and wondering if “the change” is slowly creeping it’s way into my life). I can remember when I was teaching that there was a big difference between 6th and 7th grade and 9th and 10th in terms of development. I even saw it when I taught 3rd grade–another transitional year. Seriously, puberty happens for a lllooonnnggg time.
40-ish is a bit like that. You’re a grown up, but you aren’t young and you aren’t old. Perspectives change (and I say these things knowing that when I’m 50ish I’ll see things differently as well). It’s funny because when you are a teenager, in your mind you think you are an adult. When you are 40-ish, in your mind you are 20 something.
But for ME, at 40ish you start really thinking about things like retirement, the kids college, the kids future. Truly, it does become less about you and more about them in many ways. Most of the decisions we make center around “what will this mean for the boys” and what we want for them. The memories we want to create. The options we want available for them.
For me a real positive about being 40ish is feeling like I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. There’s a greater sense of self that I didn’t have when I was in my 20s or 30s. There is a confidence that comes from having made mistakes and bad decisions and knowing that it all will turn out ok when you are willing to learn from those mistakes. There is also a satisfaction in being able to look back at some of the really great things you have accomplished, created, and done.
I don’t think 40 is “middle aged.” But, I do think you are far enough up the “hill” to be able to see both sides and know they are equally as beautiful. 40ish means you don’t have to worry about being “cool” because those things don’t matter. Sure, there are still “cliques” and groups and such, but you don’t care about that, at least I don’t. 40-ish means being able to see the value in learning from those younger than you and those older than you. There is a peace in knowing that the journey is what makes things so amazing. 40ish means knowing you can speak your mind and it’s ok. You don’t have to get along with or agree with everyone to be friends or respect them. It’s OK to think differently.
40ish means that you’ve started to lose people pretty important to you. Grandparents, friends, parents, other family members. You know that life can be both sucky and equally amazing at the same time. You know that people are brought into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. It means that you’ve probably been in a relationship for a long time and know what people mean when they say marriage is “work.” You don’t make it 20 years without any problems or hiccups along the way. But, there is a beauty in the journey because you grow as individuals, a couple a family all the while learning about yourself along the way.
So…….not sure what led to all of this coming out other than the darn night sweats. It’s one of those things you don’t think will happen to you (like chin hairs, gray hair, varicose veins, reading glasses, etc.). But, to those night sweats and other changes like that that are slowly coming, I say suck it. Yep. You heard me. Suck it. I’m stronger now than I have ever been. I feel better. I have more energy. My mind is clearer. So all in all, I have to say 40ish is a pretty awesome place to be. My mid-life “crisis” has been pretty amazing and wonderful and life changing. Looking forward to bumping it up another notch in March when I hit 45!
Day 30 FINAL DAY:
Today marks the end of my 30 Day Miracle Morning Challenge. This was a challenge to me. A commitment to me. A push to find the focus I know I can have.
What I’m left with after committing to this process is a feeling of purpose, priority, and productivity.
Before this challenge, I have to admit that I was feeling lost. Lost in the sense that I was trying to do EVERYTHING versus doing the ONE thing that would make the difference. The ONE thing each day that would drive me forward.
Through the use of The Miracle Morning SAVERS (Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing), I have found a way to start my day in a positive mindset. While waking between 4:30 and 5:00 a.m. can present challenges, on the few days where I slacked off, I could tell a difference in my focus throughout the day. And, given the fact that I started this in an effort to find focus, it became clear to me early on in this process that I can’t afford to NOT start my day this way. Other than the occasional mornings when the kiddos were up at the same time as me, there is a peace that comes with starting your day in silence.
I have started filling my head with positive thoughts and daily affirmations of my worth. It is so easy to let the voices of others cloud what we know to be true about ourselves. Likewise, it’s easy to let competition or other people’s accomplishments make us feel less than. Filling my head with affirmations every day has made me focus on me and what I can do vs. what others have done. Likewise, visualizing my goals and how it will feel once they are achieved has spurred me into greater action.
In the past 30 days, I have read The Miracle Morning, The Miracle Morning for Salespeople, and The ONE Thing, and I have created two freemiums for my website, created three landing pages, created a team all access coaching event WITH my team, blogged several times a week, started another 66 day challenge to reinforce the importance of getting my ONE thing done each day, starting my teaching job (which puts us on a path of purposeful savings and one of the HUGE items on my vision board), completed The Miracle Morning each day, consistently completed my business Power Hour even when other events could have been an excuse to NOT do it, and I’ve created systems that will help keep me moving forward.
I can’t wait to see where I will be in another 30 days.
I’m left with this final thought from “The ONE Thing,” (a book I have read almost twice during this process) “A life lived on purpose is the most powerful of all— and the happiest.” ~ The ONE Thing
This morning I felt the effects of staying up too late last night. I must do a better job of going to bed by 10 p.m. each night. But, even with that, I was ready to get up at 5 and get my day started.
I am really enjoying the new-found focus I feel as result of doing the Miracle Morning each day. It truly has become a new habit and almost something I look forward to. Instead of starting the day rushed and hurried and behind, I start the day with an intentionality.
Today’s take aways from The One Thing:
“Extraordinary results are achieved by this negotiation with your time.”
“No matter how hard you try, there will always be things left undone at the end of your day, week, month, year, and life. Trying to get them all done is folly.”
I did NOT want to get up this morning. Everything in my body said, “Just push snooze—just once.” However, my brain told me to get my butt out of bed, so that’s what I did. Once up, I did lie on my office floor in the dark for a few minutes just soaking in the silence of the morning.
Today’s take aways:
“The brain makes up l/ 50th of our body mass but consumes a staggering 1/ 5th of the calories we burn for energy.”
“Foods that elevate blood sugar evenly over long periods, like complex carbohydrates and proteins, become the fuel of choice for high-achievers— literal proof that “you are what you eat.”
“When our willpower runs out, we all revert to our default settings. This begs the question: What are your default settings?”
“So how do you put your willpower to work? You think about it. Pay attention to it. Respect it. You make doing what matters most a priority when your willpower is its highest. In other words, you give it the time of day it deserves.”